


Love of a Lifetime

by orphan_account



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments (Movies), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Best Friends, Gay, M/M, Malec, MxM - Freeform, Novel, bxb - Freeform, jimon, simon and jace past friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-18 10:50:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17579453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Simon has been in Jace's life a long time before Clary meets either of them on her 18th birthday.So it seems strange, when this redhead manages to worm her way between them, at least, to Simon it does.





	1. Chapter 1

Jonathan Christopher had been very disorientated when he entered the New York Institute for the first time. He had walked in through the towering doorway, the wooden doors creaking and groaning as he walked past them towards the winding stairs. He distinctly remembered the way the wood hushed under his thick socks as he padded up the stairs after removing his heavy boots. That first time he entered the institute had been his first time away from his home city, also his first time away from the big, haunting house he'd watched his father bleed out in.   
When Jonathan had first been guided through the halls to the library, a large cold hand on his spine he had flinched away and glared over his shoulder with flickering golden eyes, only to see a boy with black hair and a scowl glaring back at him. The boy had grunted at him sticking out a stiff hand, his voice hard, "I'm Alec Lightwood." Jonathan had stuttered out a breath shaking the boy's hand firmly yet with trembling fingers his voice quiet, unsure.   
"J-Jace...Wayland." He remembered giving a stiff nod, assuring himself that was correct while convincing Alec Lightwood all the same. Alec Lightwood didn't show if he believed Jonathan or not only striding on down the hallway, giving a unspoken command for Jonathan to follow him on a tour of the empty institute. 

When Jace Wayland and Alec Lightwood stepped into the library Jace Wayland immediately knew days would be spent refining his piano skills, taking in all the knowledge he could in this large space, and waiting for orders. He marched right up to the black haired beauty that was cross-legged on the floor and stuck his hand out. "H-hello. I'm Jace Wayland." The girl had looked up at him and beamed giving his hand an enthusiastic shake in return,  
"I'm Isabelle Lightwood, but you can call me Izzy. Sorry about my depressing brother Alec he's not good with people." She had giggled brightly, Jace Wayland scowling slightly in confusion of their family connection looking between her happy face and Alec's scowling face as he proceeded to roll his eyes at his sister. Jace stepped back as Alec sat beside Izzy teasing her in return with a harsh clip to his voice, yet despite it Izzy had laughed the whole way coddling her brother with a grin. It was that strange, unfamiliar atmosphere of love that had sent Jace sprinting out of the institute in a flurry of gold, and dashing into the alien streets of New York City.

An hour on running and winding through streets had brought Jace Wayland to a small, dark park that all appeared to revolve around a large lake. It was only then that Jace stopped running, slowing to a walk as his eyes skimmed over the green landscape, panting softly until his breath caught stepping closer to a young boy the same age as Jace who was sobbing into his hands, blood trickling down his cheeks. Vampire. Jace's logical mind was repeating a chant of the things his father had reminded him of, vampires were to be slaughtered. Vampires were filthy, tainted creatures that did not deserve the eternal life they got. Yet, Jace's feet kept moving closer, the sobbing retching from the boy's chest telling him human, but the bloody tears pouring down his cheeks telling him vampire, predator, monster. "Why are you crying?" Jace hadn't meant to speak, but as the boy's head shot up, staring at him with wide, innocent brown eyes and fangs digging into his lips Jace couldn't help but sit down stiffly beside him. Jace repeated his question quieter tilting his head in curiosity, his face set in a straight line as the boy stuttered in a gentle, human voice.  
"I-I don't want t-to be a monster." Jace shuffled closer frowning slightly.  
"You don't seem like a monster." The boy huffed shaking his head.  
"A-aren't s-shadowhunters s-supposed to hate v-vampires?" Jace shrugged gently, of course they were, he thought, but this boy didn't sound like a monster to Jace.  
"My father said we were. But I'm a grown boy, and I don't think you look dangerous at all." It was rather rude of him he realised, calling this boy weak when he had only just met him, but the way the boy's shoulders fell and his face relaxed in relief told Jace it was somehow what the boy wanted to hear.   
"I-I'm Lewis, S-Simon Lewis."  
"Why did you say your last name first?"  
"Because that's how James Bond says it, and James Bond is awesome and badass!"  
"Who's James Bond?"  
"You don't know James Bond?! I'll show you someday." The boy was nodding vigorously before he appeared to realise what he implied and gave a face of embarrassment squeezing his fingers in one hand. "T-that's i-i-if you want to." Jace flashed a sideways grin for a moment nodding as he stuck out a hand to shake.   
"Sure. I'm Wayland, Jace Wayland." The boy grinned shaking his hand wildly before gasping and flinching back to cover his fangs that had reappeared at the scent of Jace's blood drifting to his nose. Jace didn't know what had come over him in that moment, perhaps a sense of defiance against the father that had abandoned him to die or recklessness against the new family he didn't want, but he stuck out his wrist and grinned a lop sided grin once more. "You can drink from me if you like. It'll make you feel better around other people." Simon Lewis had only hesitated for a fearful moment before clasping his pink lips around Jace's wrist and slowly sinking his fangs into Jace's veins. It was soothing to Jace, somehow a sense of emptiness washing over his mind, letting him relax against the boys shoulder. 

Five minutes passed before Simon Lewis slowly pulled away from Jace's wrist, lapping at it with a warm tongue and looking up at the blonde shadowhunter with worried eyes. "I could have killed you." He whispered to the blonde on his shoulder, Jace huffing softly in reply, looking up into the brunette's eyes with honesty.  
"I would have let you." It was the last thing Jace had remembered before sighing and drifting off into the first peaceful sleep in a while. 

~~~~~~~~

When Jace Wayland woke in the morning, his head resting relaxed on Simon's shoulder, the memories come back in a flurry, his legs wobbling from blood loss as he stands abruptly looking to the brunette beside him, his pale skin glowing in the sunlight, but not burning as he slept soundly. Jace had shook the boy awake, the vampire groaning and rolling his head around before his eyes finally fluttered open and he smiled tiredly at Jace, only for the same realisation to jolt him from his seat. Jace had watched as Simon looked up at the sun, his eyes welling up as he cupped hands over his mouth looking back at Jace and squeezing the blonde into a hug. Jace had flinched tensing up, not responding, but not being hurt or let go of by the brunette until Simon pulled away to laugh and grin spinning in a circle and bouncing up and down. "I think you're a wizard Jace Wayland!"   
Jace's face broke into a scowl of confusion as he reminded Simon he was a shadowhunter, the vampire rolling his eyes at Jace. "We're definitely watching a lot of movies together in the near future Jace Wayland." His voice was stern, yet his grin told Jace otherwise. It all sent Jace's mind into a swirl of confusion, and the claim of later meetings was the last he heard of the boy before he was stumbling over an excuse to leave and running back through the maze that was New York City back to the institute. 

 

~~~~~~~~

It wasn't until a week later that Jace Wayland had returned to the park, emotions once again his focus of confusion. When he had found Simon once more sat on the bench, this time in stark daylight, he wasn't surprised to find the boy grinning and waving at him. Jace had hesitantly perched himself beside the vampire looking over curiously. "Why does everyone enjoy love?" The brunette clearly had not been prepared for the sudden question but had twitched and shrugged smiling softer as he looked at Jace.   
"Because love is both a weakness and a strength and many people never find it." Jace had scowled in reply his father's words ringing in his mind as he grunted softly.   
"My father said love is to destroy, and to be loved is to be destroyed. But everyone else seems to think that's stupid." Simon had only laughed shaking his head.  
"Love can destroy. It destroys me knowing my mum, who I love very much will never accept what I am. But it's not that simple. Love is like rainbows and unicorns too! Love can be the reason people are stronger or more brave or become a better person." Jace had spent the rest of that afternoon in silence, listening to Simon ramble about the magic of love and Jace wondered why his father would have only told him half a truth. Simon's way seemed to balance his father's and everyone else's explanation, so surely Simon was telling the truth? 

Over the next year Jace had met Simon in that same spot every week, spending his afternoon questioning Simon about emotions, the human world and how he should act in certain situations. Though Jace only went back to the institute to act emotionless towards others he soon developed a certain charm in his reactions to questions. Simon's easy sarcasm seemed to envelope the personality Jace emitted to others. And as the months passed, Simon began to explain some of the human culture he himself performed like a ritual, in hopes of keeping himself mundane, he opened his heart to Jace, not minding that Jace didn't speak much himself for the first seven months of their friendship.   
One Tuesday Jace finally decided to tell Alec about Simon. The raven shadowhunter having become what Simon would call a 'brother from another mother' to Jace. He had sat down with Alec, getting a heatless glare from Alec as he set down his book. Jace had told Alec only that he wanted the boy to meet someone and had dragged him through the city to the park were the brunette was sat, a small console in his small hands as he bit his lip smashing buttons furiously. When Jace had whistled softly Simon's head had immediately snapped up, his pointed grin alarming Alec as he waved frantically at Jace who had smirked back softly, pulling Alec closer as the raven haired boy had frowned glaring down Simon. "Why are you introducing me to a vampire Jace? And a weak one at that?" It seemed that through the long while it took Jace to explain the situation to Alec Simon's happiness had deflated only to rise up slightly once more as Alec's gaze became less harsh.   
"So?" Jace cocked a brow at Alec as his brother sighed sticking out his hand to Simon.   
"Alright I trust Jace's instincts. I'm Alec." Simon's lips had split into a grin as he shook Alec's hand saluting him cheekily as Alec gave him a look of death in case the vampire hurt Jace.   
When Alec walked away later that afternoon to go and help Izzy with a batch of cookies she'd burnt ten times over, Jace sat down beside Simon flashing a small grin to the brunette he'd become quickly fond of. "I think that went okay Lewis." Simon had nodded in his only reply before rambling about his thoughts on Alec's 'look of killing' as he showed Jace the strange game he had been playing on his 'Gameboy'.

~~~~~~~~

Over the following seven years Jace Wayland and Simon Lewis became very well acquainted and as a result, Jace knew for certain he could call Simon Lewis his best friend. Simon had taught Jace a lot and vice versa, though Jace still hid himself behind a strong and arrogant mask, as he had found it most comfortable, when he was around Simon the vampire had noted on multiple occasions that the shadowhunter was very much open with him. It was through that, that Simon Lewis believed his true love for Jace Wayland had blossomed and Jace Wayland's protective nature and care for Simon Lewis had also strengthened to a bond no one could break. Even Alec had slowly accepted Simon as one of his siblings over the course of time. This all seemed to run smoothly, his few friends and family that he knew would be his for his whole life. That was shattered when a mission at Pandemonium for the shadowhunter siblings had become a mission of peaked curiosity to discover who this hidden ginger shadowhunter that knew nothing of herself was.

Jace had been there when she woke up. He had sat waiting out of pure irritation at this girl's invasion into his otherwise peaceful world, ignoring all messages from his best friend in hopes she would wake sooner and he could chuck her into the world of the shadows without a problem. But when she woke, not knowing a thing about her new life and it's place, after she had interrupted his furious piano playing and drug him to Hodge only for him to get kicked out again, he knew things were going to change, and he knew he was going to find out why this young girl with no clue of her life outside of mundane culture had ended up in his world, out of place.

Jace stormed down the halls his lip twitching slightly irritated as Alec gave him a passing look, but didn't follow as Jace strode into the world, not even five minutes later pounding on Simon's flat door being greeted by a heavy eyed vampire. Jace slipped past the startled brunette and slammed the door behind him before he was tackled into a hug by Simon unable to help but chuckle as Simon rambled on, scolding Jace for his absence in his life. "You could have been dying but no one told me you stupid angel!" Jace pushed Simon off onto the sofa and sat down himself grating his hands through his hair and glaring at Simon gently.   
"Let me do the rambling for a minute Si would you?" Simon's voice had immediately hushed at the soft tone, nodding frantically as he leaned forward to listen to all Jace's rambles about the ginger girl that had appeared out of nowhere to interrupt his life's flow.   
As the hour went on and Simon listened to Jace's words he couldn't help but feel the build of jealousy and misery in his gut. Jace was clearly frustrated because he was feeling something he never had for this girl, and Simon could do nothing but clench his fists and listen patiently like he always did as Jace poured his heart out.


	2. Chapter 2

Simon had been their through it all. Through his best friend and one love falling for a girl. A girl he despised with all his heart, purely because she took his best friend and broke him into tiny fragments of the man he used to be. Simon despised it. Through the events of this new life that came about with this red-head he had felt his grip on his best friend slipping through his fingers, his own life being dragged around in the mud and tossed aside. Watching them together, watching his Angel break and break again refusing anything Simon could possibly offer, was like burning itself, but Simon could not burn. He watched over them still, from the corner, from the roof, from an alleyway, keeping them safe while wishing she'd get hit by a car so he could swoop in and take back his friend, but yet that would not happen, he knew Jace would sooner jump in front of a car than let his new girlfriend get hurt.  
This was what had dragged Simon through many events in life, he had never expected to cross. From a sudden bout of weakness to the world around him that he had never had, to being tortured for his 'Daylighter' secrets, to getting them to confess their desire to each other in the Fae court, by accident. It almost seemed like he was a fresh new vampire in the world, or perhaps his unconscious mind was seeking out the attention and care of his Angel, yet it all only seemed to push Jace Wayland further away from his best friend. Many nights curled up in Magnus's flat watching James Bond movies followed, Simon sobbing as he never had before, because dammit, that was his best friend!   
Through hell he had been dragged. He had thought perhaps if he gave himself up, maybe he could forget, leave his best friend behind to his new life that Simon had no place in, relieve himself of his broken life and he would forget. Yet that blonde never left his mind, always staying in his brain, the memories returning in dreams as he pieced himself back together, only to break once more afresh, he had removed the memories, yet they had followed, and now, the reason Simon and Jace and come together, had been thrown away like trash, so careless, perhaps not even reaching it's destination in the garbage with the rest of his soul. Simon had put himself through his own torture, scars up and down his forearms as the dreams only made him sob harder until he was retrieved by them, as though they hadn't put him through enough as it was, they had to drag him back. But he didn't tell them he remembered it all. Only Alec and Magnus knew, that he knew it all, and they had given him a home once more, despite the place at the institute being the place everyone else thought he should be.   
Even through all this, Jace didn't see him. Pushed him away without even seeing how he did it, Alec and Magnus always throwing hints, but Jace would bat them away in favour of the girl under his arm, and Simon would beg them, 'please, stop trying, I don't need a new friend.' Alec and Magnus had questioned his meaning, that they thought Simon had remembered it all, why didn't he remember his best friend, and he had crashed a burned, spinning around to yell his lungs out in terror, trembling from head to toe, 'That man is not my best friend! My best friend was lost years ago, and no one bothered to help me search for him!' He had collapsed to his knees then, crying into his knees and pounding his fists into the floor as Magnus and Alec had edged closer kneeling besides him and circling him in warmth he didn't want, warmth that felt like incest, because Jace's warmth was what he wanted, but his best friend was gone, never to return to him.  
It was that day that Simon had gone to sleep with a plan, he had been created by his best friend, his whole set of beliefs hanging on his best friend by his side, if his best friend was gone, then he would change, become the person this world needed him to be, his best friend was gone, he was a new Simon with a new view on this life, if Jace would change, so would Simon.

Simon Lewis woke the next morning with a blistering headache. The sobbing and retching and nightmares having done a number on his brain, but he pushed the throbbing aside and slipped out of bed. He looked like hell, his eyes were swollen and red from crying and his cheeks were stiff from tears that he quickly scrubbed away in the shower. It felt like he was washing Jace away, washing away his feelings and letting them trickle down the drain with his sorrow. He could not spend the rest of his, now mortal, life wallowing in self pity, if he were to do that, he would be better off making a statement and committing suicide, which as he thought through his plan, he decided was definitely a more achievable option.   
Simon stood before his mirror a moment. Taking deep breaths and looking over his skinny, battered body, he shook his head muttering to himself, 'Pathetic.' His feet were moving before he even told them to, walking to pull on the plainest clothes he had, being his shadowhunter clothing, and he walked out into the kitchen. Alec and Magnus looked up from their cooking to look over at him, and seeing him in the dark, grey clothes, patterns and prints no where to be found, it was clear Alec went slightly pale. He stepped closer to Simon slowly, as though cautious, like something was wrong. Magnus meanwhile stood against the counter, his arms crossed frowning. Alec gulped and touched Simon's arm gently with his fingertips, "Si? What's wrong?"   
"I want you to train me." Alec blinked surprised at him and the deep bluntness in Simon's voice.  
"Why's that Si? You've never wanted to train before."  
"I'm too weak." Magnus snorted and walked closer.  
"Seeking Jace's attention is all well and good Simon to make him snap out of whatever dream he's in-"  
"I don't know what you're talking about, Jace is none of my concern anymore." Alec seemed to deflate before looking up at Magnus with sad pleading eyes only Magnus would ever see. It made the warlock want to whine and curl around his husband, to protect him from the world, and Simon too. He looked at Simon and sighed. Perhaps the change would help him clear his mind.   
"We'll both train you, here, in the flat." Alec looked up at him sharply and even Simon looked surprised making Magnus shrug gently. "If you really want to be stronger then being able to fight a warlock will certainly give you an advantage in many ways, besides," He smirks softly, "If the next time you go back to the institute you're big and buff and quick like a cat, you'll definitely be all people want to look at." He grinned, his eyes flickering and Alec chuckling breathily, shaking his head softly. Simon's eyes don't change, but the way his lips twitch softly shows he feels just as Alec does, it was a good plan, but the end reason was a little ridiculous.

Despite the thoughts of how strange and un-natural this was for Simon that they all shared, the next month found Simon working with them and training with them very hard. He felt the burn each morning when he woke up, and his expressions became fewer and fewer as they went on, his muscles becoming more defined and filling out his shirts. Of course, Magnus was most excited to take him shopping when he eventually split them down the middle, but luckily for Simon Lewis his shadowhunter shirts were a size or two too big when he first received them. He now filled them out nicely. It was hard work. And as the time went by both Alec and Magnus began to worry for Simon and his mental state, though he had not thrown away all his old shirts covered in logos, fandoms and geeky quotes, he had grown out of them, and never wore them becoming what Alec remembered being before all this started, stoic and emotionless. They could both easily say they were scared for what the new Jace had turned Simon into.   
Simon, on the other hand, he could not wait to walk into the institute and see how they all looked at him differently, like the strong person he now was, he didn't need his best friend to keep him emotionally stable or save him from terror anymore, he didn't need Jace anymore, he didn't want Jace anymore.

At least...that's what he told himself when he lay in bed every night, crying himself to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

The doors swung open. Simon stood, in the doorway to the institute, soaked in the rainfall that pattered on the doorstep. His shirt clung to his body, his curls flat against his forehead and his fingertips dripping as he stepped inside and breathed in the musk of the water. He stepped further inside, only so the doors could creak to a close, and he shook his hair out, rain splattering all over the tiled floors the sound echoing around the large space before he strode to the elevator and stepped inside. He passed Isabelle on his way into the elevator, who glanced at him and seemed to put on her most alluring smile only to go still as a deer when she came across the hazel eyes that bore into her own. "Simon?" She muttered.  
"Yeah?" He cocked a brow watching her stumble when the doors clamped down on her and she shook her head, in a daze.  
"Never-mind." She darted out into the entrance hall, leaving Simon alone in the metal box. He let out a breath, glancing around the space that used to frighten him to death's door. It still did. But this time he held himself tall, stared straight ahead, not thinking of the many things that could kill him in this teeny, tiny, metal box. He gulped. Just as he began to feel his heart thundering in his chest the doors cruised open and he slipped out. He strode down the halls, so different from his usual pattering in fact, that the cat yowled, sprinting off down the hallway, Simon couldn't help but look on with amusement as he walked down to the kitchen. Alec and Magnus were already there, Alec with a cocked brow aimed towards the cat and Magnus in the middle of rolling his eyes as Simon peeked in round the corner and Magnus gave a salute. 

Next, Simon found himself walking to the library. Giggles could already be heard from inside, yet he continued, the doors groaning as they opened and he strolled inside, keeping his stance loose though his find was all of a flutter as he felt two pairs of irritated eyes on his back.   
Jace and Clary were perched on the sofa, Clary curling her knees up in Jace's lap as the latter had his arms circling the petite girl. For many months he had been training her, and yet in one month Magnus and Alec had achieved with Simon what Jace could not with Clary in five. Of course, that was not Jace's fault, more Clary's, not just her womanly nature that made her body more stubborn to change, but due to her flirting and slacking attitude in the training room, a way to get out of the fighting she didn't actually want to take part in by wooing Jace into submission, unfortunately for her, Simon sneered to himself, she did not have neither the grace nor the wicked beauty to get away with such things when a demon was striding towards her like Isabelle did.   
By the time this train of thought had passed, Simon was across the room, a hefty book in his hand, a copy of the Shadowhunter's Codex. He continued to ignore them, crashing down into the window perch and crossing his legs, flexing his toes in his boots as he peeled open the cover, beginning to read. 

"Hey Simon?" His gaze flickered up to Jace who looked over at him with a frown.  
"Yes Jace?" He said, cocking a brow in return, though his features remained still and frozen in a permanent frown. Jace didn't seem to enjoy such, scowling deeper and snorting.  
"There's a new Marvel movie out in the cinema, I thought you would be dragging Alec and Magnus to see that?" Simon simply shrugged.  
"I didn't realise. I've been busy." He looked back to his book, the conversation was over, though Jace continued to glance at him for a solid minute before Clary pulled his attention away and tugged him out the room by the wrist. Simon sighed, letting out a long breath and glancing up as they leave Jace looking back at him, a frown still wrinkling his brows. Simon looked back to his book. He didn't like Jace, not anymore. Jace hadn't cared about anything he said or did until this sudden change, he didn't deserve an ounce of Simon's attention. It was clear he was only interested in what he was doing because of his sudden change. That's what made Simon realise why Jace had been ignoring him, at least part of it. He was ashamed of Simon.   
Simon scoffed and glared out the window, clenching his jaw to hold his tongue, hold in a shout of anger towards the man. That was a change he had noticed in himself. The more he trained, the more the sadness of losing Jace became anger. Why should Simon cry over Jace? Why should he lose sleep over Jace? Why should he have nightmares about Jace? When it wasn't his own fault, he had promised Jace once he would change for no one... Simon stilled in his train of thought.   
He had promised Jace he would change for no one. He scoffed, his head falling back against the wall and he shook his head laughing as he squeezed his eyes shut, tears streaming down his cheeks. He had promised Jace he would change for no one. And here he was, disappointing his best friend, changing, for someone. His laughs and sobs morphed into a hiccuping jolt of confusion, self-teasing and stupidity. He hunched over his knees, touching his forehead to the warm thigh and gasping for air.   
"Simon?" He jolted up, glancing to the side to see Alec stood, a steaming mug cupped in his palms and a concerned frown on his pale face. "Are you alright?" He edged closer, tilting his head and leaning closer. Simon let out a long breath, sucking a new one in in hopes to calm his many emotions before he nodded.   
"Yeah..yeah, I'm okay Alec, I really am." His lips twitched up and he shook his head swinging his legs down from the ledge and standing up, the step making him level with Alec for once. "Where's Magnus? I'm ready to go shopping."


	4. Chapter 4

Jace Herondale was utterly in love. Her red-gold hair, her bright gaze, her strength and loyalty. His eyes followed the girl across the room, even as he stood and followed behind her. It was as though under a spell, his eyes glazed and his shoulders slopped forward, his usual grace and cockiness out the window in favour of watching her move from his stooped position, perfect height to look up at his goddess, the woman he sold his soul to, or would, if she asked. His head crooked to the side, snide comments from Alec to chin up or he'd get stuck with a cramped throat went over his head on the occasion she entered the room.   
Jace would always scowl, her presence never seemed to impress or capture others quite like it did himself. In these occasions his mind would flicker for a moment, wavering, his back straightening, why were they not as enchanted as he was with this delightful woman? The ideas twitching in his mind, hissing in his ears and flickering across his diluted gaze until her own met his, and he slumped once more. Out of his peripheral Alec's distorted and blurred face crunched down, balled up like screwed up paper, his gaze snapping sharply to the angel that entered the room and looked back at Jace's brother with burning passion, that's all Jace saw. 

Simon. Simon confused Jace. The vampire only seen in flickering moments throughout the institute once in a while. Like a shadow through the halls, haunting Jace in his most doubtful moments. Jace felt down, Simon fluttered past, Jace was angry, Simon perched in the kitchen, Jace kissing his girlfriend with undying gusto, wondering why her smooth lips sent a shudder crawling down his spine, Simon walked in. He was different this time though. The way the man made him doubt himself, for no reason at all, like he was yearning for approval from the boy that crept the halls, fled the kitchen with snacks once each week, like a lion cub, so small and delicate and easily approached, but deadly all in the same few moments. Jace found him curious, he remembered all the days he'd enjoyed the boy's company, from the moment they met he'd had a crawling suspicion this boy would never be void from his life, like a leech, but ever desired. Simon clung onto Jace, and the only reason he was still here, because Jace never felt the heart, or the cold-hearted nature to tug the fangs from his arm, to take away the life support he provided the vampire, in one way or another.   
Over time, the boy had latched on so long, Jace couldn't see a life without the buggering leech clung to his arm, taking his energy away, leaving him so exhausted at the end of the day, no energy was left to haunt him in nightmares. It exhilarated him. The excitement, the constantly moving force, pushing him to new places and sights he'd never experienced, he was so absorbed in his friendship with the vampire, he forgot his faked confidence, his lonely lack of biological family. The girl never did that. Though it seemed to pass through him, in one ear and out the other, as he tossed and turned in his bed, then went about a lazy, boring day his eyes bagged but glinting as they landed on Clarissa. The film that slid over his eyes seemed to deceive him, of course he wasn't tired, of course he didn't have nightmares only one man's charisma solved, was Clary making his life better? Of course she was, he'd never felt better. Up until this moment he had seemed deluded, not even noticing himself his behaviour, until Simon spoke to him. The loving caring vampire, Jace's only medicine, suddenly so lacking in his delicate nature, his slim body still slim but defined, his eyes moved from sensitive and understanding to ice cold. Jace's astonishment showed, of course, he felt like a wave had slapped him across the cheek, a sudden wake up call he hadn't scheduled nor asked for. 

The confusion followed him. This chill settling in his bones and his shadow latched on only tighter to his bicep, not even if the same room, yet stalking him through the halls, a comforting shadow. The ghost of Simon's glare sending shivers through his body, goosebumps trailing and making his hairs stand on end. For a week it trailed him. For a week Jace strode around the institute, his shoulders straighter without notice, his pupils sharp and scanning every inch of his surroundings for his shadow, his leech, his lion cub, a cub no longer. It seemed suddenly they were weaving around each other, all the while wherever Jace looked for Simon, Clary appeared, a sudden switch in roles between his two leeches, except he felt himself resisting to Clary. Tugging, yanking, stretching to get her fangs from his flesh, to tear an arm off if he must, a rush through his bones, a thirst for his blood to be his and his alone. His nightmares deepened further, waking with a shout to Alec at his bedside, warm, pale arms outstretched to his adopted brother, the shadow ghosting his hug, mirroring him step for step.   
When the end of the week approached, and him and Clary lay besides each other in her bed. His clothes half on half off, he looked at her, truly looked at her. The delight he'd seen was dimming, but she was the same. He frowned slightly before rolling onto his side, thinking of all the things he loved about this woman, this girl, all the things that made him fall in love with her.   
"I love you Jace." The whisper startled him, taking him by surprise in that moment. In his mind he whispered it back, in his mind he smiled truly to her, like he didn't to many and said it back, spending the rest of their lives together. In his present, he sat up. He glanced at her, confusion flickering in her gaze and it had in his own tired one all week.   
"I..." he sighed and shook his head, standing up and looking at her, his voice quiet, "I don't love you." His voice edging on unsure as he walked out of the room, his head throbbing and numb, his mind in a swirl, he needed time to understand why he didn't love the woman he told himself he'd fallen in love with.   
He needed time to think about how both her and he had deluded him.


	5. Chapter 5

Magnus had taken Simon shopping a few times during that week. While Jace haunted the halls looking for his shadow anywhere possible, moping and tormented by Simon. Magnus dragged Simon from their home and institute and took him on a shopping spree. Magnus had been over the moon when he found out Simon had asked for it, though in the moment when Simon said it to Alec the first thing he actually heard was a mug shattering, once he knew the reason, he couldn't have smiled harder.   
Alec still remembered it like it was still happening, when Simon had asked him to tell Magnus he wanted to go shopping and Alec had stilled, dropping his mug of tea to the floor and staring at Simon, the twinkle and determination in his eyes so fierce as it glared through Alec. Simon had rushed to help him pick up the pieces and throw them away only to look up when they both felt Magnus's presence enter the room and Simon sighed, rolling his shoulders, "I'm ready to go shopping now Magnus." Magnus had grinned and jumped on the spot with a squeal running over to hug Simon tight.  
"Welcome back kid." He laughed checking Alec was okay before he was dragging them both out of the institute and down the road to a shopping center, rambling the whole way about all the things he was going to buy for Simon to perfectly show off his new figure. Simon had a hint of a smile on his lips as he looked at the married couple with him, following them around the shops and accepting all the colourful things Magnus tossed into his arms.  
"I want some funny shirts too, like I used to have, but no more flannels or baggy things anymore, I want to be stylish nerdy, not just nerdy." He nodded firmly and Magnus pouted for only a moment before nodding reluctantly.  
"Alright kid, just for you, we'll get some of those horrendous geeky shirts, but only to make sure you keep some personality in you." He ruffled Simon's hair making the brunette smile and nod up at him. 

It seemed, as they shopped and chatted, eating lunch out those three days Magnus dragged them to the shops, that though Simon had only been putting on an act for the most part of the last month, that he had taken from the experience some new habits, new things he enjoyed, new traits he hadn't realised he had buried under his insecurities. Malec were pleased to have their old Simon back, but at the same time, proud to see some confidence in him, glad to have him still determined to be strong and able to fight for himself, not for Jace's sake, but for his own. As they walked around on the third trip Alec turned to Simon curiously and cocked his head, "Why was it you suddenly had a change of heart Simon?" He queried, Magnus slowing his pace to line up with Simon's other side, clearly also curious as to why Simon suddenly changed from his stoic attitude to himself once again.  
Simon scrambled for the right words to say before giving a shrug and looking ahead, "I promised Jace a long time ago, that I wouldn't change for anyone, that I would never let anyone sway me of my beliefs or force me to be the way I'm not or to think differently for anyone else's sake. I realised, when I saw Jace in the institute the other day, and saw the horror on his face when he saw me and spoke to me, I realised that, even though he's changed and he no longer wants me as a best friend, that I still made that promise to my best friend, and I broke it. Even if Jace no longer wants anything to do with me, I can't break my promise to him, he was so angry when I made the promise, he had pushed me against the wall of my flat," He smiled thinking back on it, "He had yelled at me, because I had gone to a bar with him and when someone had called me a monster I had started to believe them. He had taken me home and pushed me against the wall yelling at me like that, crying at the same time and yelled 'Don't you dare start apologising to me now for drinking from me! You've never wanted to apologise before, you've never started believing you're a bad person before, why the fuck would one person make you believe it now!'" Simon chuckled softly, Alec and Magnus smiling slightly and nodding along as he continued to speak.  
"I felt so bad, because I'd made Jace cry, and even in front of me, Jace never cried, he let go of me, smoothing out my clothes and shaking his head. And he looked into my eyes and whispered, 'promise me Si, promise me, you'll never change for anyone, no matter the reason, please don't change.' I hadn't even taken another breath before I nodded and promised him I wouldn't change, he looked straight into my eyes at that point and said, 'not even for me, no matter what happens Simon, not even for me, because if I do something stupid and make you want to change, I don't deserve your friendship anymore, if I ever make you want to change, you have my permission to punch me.'" Simon chuckled only to stop as Alec caught his arm and cocked a brow.  
"You have permission to punch him?" Simon nodded looking between them and Magnus scoffed frowning.  
"If you've had permission all this time, why the hell haven't you punched him? You promised didn't you?!" He threw his arms up and pouted, "I wanna see you punch him." Alec laughed and Simon looked between them, opening and closing his mouth a couple times before shrugging.  
"I guess, I never wanted to punch him." Alec snorted and turned around dragging Simon back out of the shopping center and all the way back to the institute.  
"So?! He's put you through hell for a couple years now Simon, he deserves more than a punch." Simon blinked, watching Alec's anger in his eyes twitch. He looked over at Magnus, the warlock looking back at him with a stern nod as Alec walks straight to the library and pushes Simon ahead of him. Jace looks up from where he's sat at the piano, looking at his hands and looks more so confused as he stands and steps closer, cocking a brow.   
"Why are you both glaring at me and why did you just push Simon?" He asks smoothly, trying to cover the exhaustion and confusion in his eyes after having just broken up with Clary an hour before. Simon looked back at the two, getting a nod before walking up to Jace, looking him straight in the eyes, taking a deep breath and slamming his fist into Jace's stomach. 

Jace grunted, stumbling back a step and hunching over with a groan before looking up at Simon, frowning, "What the hell?!" He yelled at him, only letting his face soften slightly when he sees Simon's frown, his fists trembling.   
"You..." Simon croaked and cleared his throat tipping his chin back, "You made me promise." He said. Jace leaning on the piano as he stood up straight and looked between the three, then cocking a brow at Simon.

"What?"  
"You made me promise." He growled. Both men's hearts were pounding in their chests, both feeling something they hadn't felt in a long time. "You told me, if you ever made me want to change I had permission to punch you." Jace stilled, his eyes going wide. His lips parted and the silence seemed to suffocate him a moment as he straightened, the throbbing in his stomach nothing compared to the throbbing in his chest.  
"You remember that?" He whispered, watching Simon look at him, taken a back for a moment before the brunette nodded.  
"Yes. I..." He gulped looking down at his feet. "I thought what happened in hell would be the end of it, maybe I could forget you, but it didn't work, a week after I left, everything came back, then you all dragged me back here, Alec and Magnus were the only ones I told." He sunk his teeth into his lip, a tear falling down his cheek, and Jace was instantly taken back to the first time they met, when he had found Simon crying, his teeth in his lip and hunched over. Once more, like the first time they met, he found himself stepping closer, without thinking, he was soon infront of Simon, lifting a hand to lift the brunette's chin and looking into his eyes, his own wounded.  
"I thought you'd forgotten it all I..."he took a shaky breath, "It wasn't until the other day, when you looked so different, and I felt like someone had knocked me into my senses again, that I realised I had completely lost you and replaced you with some girl I thought I liked, and that you'd never remember us." Simon's eyes blew wide.  
"You don't like Clary?" He asked. Jace shook his head in response and laughed bitterly.   
"No, I don't think I ever did, it was like I was under some sort of spell, at first I think it was just because she was new, and I hate change, I stuck around her trying to get rid of her, then suddenly I couldn't stop hanging around her, I couldn't bring myself away from her, I realise now what I did to you, to push you away and leave you behind like nothing but I...I never realised, until the other day, and you were like a completely different person, I saw you and..." Simon gasped as he saw tears trickle down Jace's cheeks, the blonde looking up at him and straightening his back, yanking Simon into his chest and hugging him tight with shaking arms, his fingers digging into Simon's back as he whispered into his hair. "I felt so heartbroken, like my heart had been ripped out of my chest, stabbed and put back in, beating and bleeding all at once. Clary said to me yesterday that she loved me, and I realised I didn't love her back, I didn't even like her. I was so confused, I ran but earlier I went back and broke up with her, and I came here to think, realising that I missed you so much. You make me feel normal Simon, you make me feel happy and loved and safe and when you're around I never have nightmares or worries or doubts, I feel whole when you're around." He finds himself sobbing into Simon's shoulder, twitching as each of Simon's own tears splash onto his shirt. 

Alec and Magnus quietly leave the room, locking the door behind them, so no one else enters as Simon and Jace crumple to the ground, clinging to each other and sobbing into each other's shoulders, thoroughly soaking their shirts. "You know," Simon eventually whispers, opening his watery eyes and smiling, "I never knew you could be so dramatic." Jace gave a choked laugh blinking rapidly and pulling back to look at Simon, scrubbing at his eyes and smiling.  
"Neither did I, guess I picked it up from that woman." Simon laughed brightly and nodded wiping his own tears.  
"Women are so emotional, no wonder I'm gay." He giggled Jace giggling as well, like when they were children telling each other secrets. Jace reached up to pat down Simon's messy hair.  
"I think she just converted me, we'll have to have talks about what boys we crush on now when we have our weekly movie nights." He winked cheekily and though Simon's heart ached knowing Jace was even more obtainable now but still not his, he grinned back.  
"You know, I missed that marvel movie that just came out because you changed me, you owe me a ticket." Jace laughed and lay back, Simon laying besides him their hands tangled together between them as they stared up at the ceiling.  
"I'm on it, I was actually wanting to see it myself, I think you rubbed off on me Lewis."   
"Oh! We need to have a James Bond marathon now, we haven't done an all nighter like that in years what with you lovesick and all." Jace laughed and looked over at Simon, feeling his body thrumming with happiness he hadn't felt in a long time.  
When Simon looked back at him, he grinned and bumped their foreheads together, making Jace grunt and glare as Simon thought, maybe Jace would never love Simon like Simon loved him, but not having Jace at all was so much worse.


	6. Chapter 6

"I can't believe you Jonathan!"   
"What?! What'd I do this time?"  
"Oh come on! Seriously?" Jace looked back at Simon's sarcastic cocked brow of disbelief and both boys could hardly help themselves from bursting out in a roar of laughter.  
"What?" He dragged it out, pouting and stomping a foot like a child making Simon finally burst into laughter and roll his eyes dragging Jace away from the cinema, down the streets of Brooklyn as the sun was beginning to descend.   
"You know exactly what you did, I can't believe you always do that to me." He huffed and Jace snickered darting to walk alongside Simon, slinging an arm around the brunette's shoulders and giving him a shake as he pressing him into his side, a lazy smirk hanging on his lips as they bound along towards the institute together.  
"If you were really that upset about it, you would have learned your lesson by now and stopped giving me nachos at the movies." he hummed with a knowing grin making Simon glare at him, though his eyes shined with joy.  
"Don't make me do something I'll regret Herondale." Jace snickered ruffling Simon's hair into more of a mess than before.  
"What you going to do Lewis, kiss me?" He cocked a brow and Simon pulled back to spin and look at him. Both raising their arms up defensively with eyebrows in their hairlines as they stared each other down like the drunk men they always saw fighting in the pubs when they were young.   
"Maybe I will! What you think of that Herondale?" Jace huffed and crossed his arms pouting.  
"Go on then! I dare you!" Simon cocked both brows, his voice becoming quieter as he stalked closer.  
"You dare me, do you?" He whispered staring intensely at Jace as the blonde nodded vigorously a ridiculous pout still on his lips as it muffled his speech.  
"I fucking double dare you!" He replied before stumbling back a little as Simon pressed against him and gave him a big kiss on the lips, pulling back to look at him smugly.  
"Happy?" Jace laughed and pressed a wet kiss to Simon's cheek dragging him along back towards the institute.  
"Oh yeah Lewis, I think I just fell in love!" Simon snorted and rolled his eyes.  
"Liar." He grumbled, Jace laughing and looking at him with a cocked brow.  
"Come on Simon, what the hell was that, I know you don't kiss like that, even your first kiss wasn't that slobbery." He pretended to wipe his mouth disgusted making Simon glare.  
"What was that?" He hissed, snapping his teeth at Jace as though he still had the fangs to show off and bare at his victims. Jace smirked and took off running down the road, Simon yelping and dashing after him, both men sprinting down the street, grins stretched across their faces and laughter peeling past their lips.

About an hour later both of them slumped down onto the sofa in the institute, panting and out of breath. Jace's hair was messed up, bits of it dangling on his forehead and a little dirt smudged against his shirt, his jacket tossed aside onto the floor as Simon laughed softly, leaning against him, his shoes kicked off at the door. He fell slightly, slipping to have his head laying in Jace's lap, the blonde looking down at him and smirking.  
"A little eager to take the next step after that kiss are you? I hope you're not as sloppy down there." Simon glared up at him and messed up Jace's hair more with his cold hands making Jace yelp and smack at them.  
"I thought you were past the dead hands!" Simon gave a wheezed chuckle as they both went quiet, looking at each other with lazy smiles.   
"Hey Jace?" Jace hummed fluffing up Simon's hair, the curls having been a strange obsession of his for the longest time. "Do you think..." Simon chewed his lip and Jace frowned tugging on one of his hairs.  
"Think what Lewis?" Simon sighed and looked up at him again.  
"Do you think I'm better now?" He muttered Jace cocking a brow.  
"Didn't know you were sick Si." He countered making Simon roll his eyes and sit up, looking over at him seriously.  
"But I was, wasn't I, when I was a vampire, it wasn't right, so...am I right now?" Jace scoffed and shook his head patting Simon's cheek.  
"Simon, you were right then and you're right now, you're not and never have you been sick or cursed or a monster, there is not a single thought in that mind of yours nor a instinct in your body that would make you capable of even pretending to be a monster." Simon nodded slowly and Jace pulled him into a hug. "Hell, I had been brought up my whole childhood being told vampires were demons, but the moment I saw you you couldn't have convinced me you were a monster if you drugged me, that's how shit at being a cliche vampire you were." Simon laughed softly and looked up at him with a roll of his eyes.  
"I think that was a compliment, not sure though." Jace laughed and shook his head.

"Not a compliment, a truth, there's a difference." Simon nodded and stretched looking over at Jace and grinning.  
"Was that first kiss better cause I had sexy fangs?" They both laughed and Jace shoved him off the sofa.  
"Don't try your luck Lewis, we were both like 12 when that first kiss happened, you barely had fangs you were such a little baby vampy." He imitated the look using his pinky fingertips to look like fangs and making a hissing face at Simon as the brunette stood and rolled his eyes.  
"Oh please, like you weren't a baby shadow-hunter yourself." He walked over to the TV, pulling out a stash of sweets and chocolate and a stash of James Bond DVDs, popping the first one into the player and switching off the lights. He walked back over with only one stumble, dropping the bags of candy in Jace's lap and sitting next to him as he hit play.  
"You said you wanted to talk about boys we crush on." He looked up at Jace though he couldn't really see much of him but a silhouette and the glowing gold eyes of an angel. Jace hummed and nodded.  
"Yeah, though I only have one to speak of so far." Simon laughed as his chest throbbed and nodded.  
"Same." Jace looked down at Simon and wiggled his eyebrows.  
"What if it's the same person?" Simon snorted.  
"Please, knowing us it's more likely that we're crushing on each other than having the same taste in men." Both of them went silent. The silence seemed to stretch out for a while though it was only truly a minute before Jace pulled Simon to lay in his lap and whispered to the room and his best friend.  
"I wouldn't mind that. I'd take you over all the other guys in the world if I thought you were into me Lewis." He smiled to himself, not seeing the way Simons cheeks flared up as he snuggled into Jace's lap.  
"So would I, if I didn't know how far away from worthy of a guy like you I was Jace." They both fell quiet once more, a silent agreement going between them, to simply stop talking and watch the movie, before either of them confessed their feelings to the other.


	7. Chapter 7

It had been a week since that conversation in front of the TV. They had gone the whole night watching all the movies without mentioning it once, and the rest of the week too at that. It seemed they had made an unspoken agreement to each other not to talk about it anymore, nothing else changed between them, but there seemed to be a moment each morning, when their eyes caught each other across the table at breakfast, and a soft smile was passed between them, a strange love reflecting in their eyes before they looked away and started up conversation as though it had never happened.

Both Jace and Simon were very good by now at disguising emotion, Jace from his younger days before Simon, and Simon from bullying, and Jace teaching him how to hide it as much as Simon taught him what those feelings were that he was hiding. Though Simon's heart thundered when around Jace, he made no show if it being true or real. Though Jace couldn't help but watch his best friend, captured by him when he was in the room, no one seemed to see he was doing it, and when they did, Alec whispered to Magnus and Magnus smiled, Simon looked back at Jace and made a stupid face to make the blonde laugh, and Clary seemed to think Jace was going crazy, staring into space.  
Clary, on the other hand, didn't seem to have handled any of this well since Jace broke up with her, apologising, saying he seemed under some sort of spell. Alec would sometimes find her sat in her room, glaring at a bottle of sweet smelling liquid with a sigh. When he relayed this information to Magnus, the warlock didn't take long to tell Alec that 'love potions' were expensive, sold for a high profit by Warlocks, but were ultimately a fool's potion, anyone under a love potion would eventually become immune to the effects, and if they had felt real love before, a reminder of it would very quickly make the potion useless against them. 

It was on that Friday, after Alec and Magnus had talked about it further, that everyone was pulled into the weapon's room to talk. Magnus stood front and center, glaring down Clary with his arms crossed, Alec stood besides him, his stoic expression twisted to anger as Jace, Simon, Isabelle and Clary stood in a row before them, Jace's arm slung onto Simon's shoulder, leaning on him with a bored expression, chewing a piece of bubble gum and expertly blowing a bubble like he hadn't first gotten a taste of bubble gum five minutes before when he found it in Simon's pocket.   
"Why are we all here Magnus?" Clary cocked a brow curiously, Isabelle nodding and Jace and Simon making faces about it. Magnus sighed and rubbed his brows nudging Alec who set the potion down on the table, Clary visibly stiffening.  
"This is a love potion." He said curtly, Jace cocking a brow and grinning as he chewed his gum.  
"Are you confessing you've been drugging Magnus?" Alec snorted and glared at him.  
"You really think I'd be able to fool Magnus?" Jace shrugged.  
"Fair point." he snickered despite that before Alec looked seriously at Jace, glaring straight into his eyes to prove he meant what he said next.  
"This is what Clary used to make you believe you were in love with her." Both Jace and Simon froze. Jace slowly straightened up, taking in a deep breath, before any words could pass his parted lips, Simon hissed and glared at Clary.  
"Seriously Fray? You drugged him?!" He yelled, clenching his fists at his side and stalking towards her, Clary backing up into a wall as he scanned her face. "Why? Tell me why or I swear to God I will turn back into a vampire right now just to rip your throat out!" Everyone seemed to freeze in their spot, time stuck as Alec, Magnus and Jace looked at Simon and his angered expression in shock, never had Simon looked so angry, never had he threatened anyone or confessed to wanting to be a vampire for any reason. Clary simply gulped and looked away.  
"Valentine made me do it." She said softly, looking back up at him, not daring to touch him in case he actually tried to bite her. "He wanted me to get closer to Jace so he could use his angel blood, but when I tried to do it normally he seemed to only avoid me, Valentine got impatient, he was going to kill my mother if I didn't hurry it up." She said a slight choke in her voice. Simon cocked a brow.  
"Why did you do it for 2 years then?" He crossed his arms making her sigh and rub the back of her head.  
"I got the potion from Ragnor, I didn't tell him what it was for!" She cried looking at Magnus swiftly, "He did nothing wrong, I made him believe I was desperate for love, but Valentine killed my mother anyway, when I couldn't get Jace to him within the first year, and so I thought maybe...if I kept trying, maybe he had been bluffing, and I'd get her back, but.." She looked down at her hands, playing with her fingers, Simon backing up slightly, his expression cold, Jace recognised that look immediately, it was the face Jace had made when he first met Simon, his blank, empty, emotionless, judging gaze that he hated to this day, it made his own expression slump and his body force him to step closer to Simon, like a reminder Jace was still there, alive, and okay. Clary looked around at them, her gaze lingering on Jace before she looked at Magnus.

"I don't understand though, why did it stop working? It stopped that one time and I thought it had worn off so I gave him more, but nothing happened." Magnus pinched the bridge of his nose.  
"Honey, love potions are a trick for money, Warlocks call it fool's love, because no one can force love, it's like how Warlocks cannot bring back the dead, it's not something you can make happen, so it pulls the wool over Jace's eyes for a couple years, but the moment he sees something he really truly loves, and remembers that love, the wool is gone, everyone grows immune to that potion eventually, remembering Simon just triggered that immunity kick early."

Simon blinked and looked over at Jace, his cheeks slightly flushed, "You love me?" he mutters before chuckling and looking at Magnus his eyes quickly changing not giving Jace time to reply though his own cheeks were tinted. "But surely if family or friend love can stop it, then seeing Alec or Izzy would have been enough, right?" He felt his heart pick up, he couldn't let himself fall for the other option, believe that Jace really harboured love for him that was as anything more than a best friend. Magnus shook his head, the message clear in his eyes, but before anyone could speak or interrupt, Jace grabbed Simon's wrist, and dragged him out the room. Izzy could be heard asking questions now that the other two were out, but Simon didn't catch it in time, Jace darting through the halls to the green house, pulling Simon up onto the roof and sitting down heavily, Simon watching him a moment before sitting besides him.

"It can only be broken by true love Simon, romantic love." He whispered, looking over at Simon, desperately clinging onto his crumbling facade of confidence. Simon stared into Jace's eyes, the staring contest continuing for a solid five minutes before Simon spoke, their words all whispered, like a secret between them.  
"When you said you'd take me over any man out there...you meant..."  
"I meant, that you're the only man I've been crushing on, and I would never let you go if I had you Simon." Simon gulped and nodded, their thighs pressed against each other, their breaths mixing between them.  
"You know, I've loved you a long time Jace," he smiled, "If you're not ready to face love as well, or you don't want to ruin our friendship or whatever girls say," Jace chuckled breathlessly, "I can wait eternity, if that's what you need."   
"Now who sounds like the girl?" They laughed together, their foreheads pressed together.   
"I mean it though, I don't care, I'm okay to love you and just be your best friend, if that's what you want." Jace shook his head.  
"I fucking love you Simon, that's never going to happen again for me, and with demons waiting to rip me apart, I'd be an idiot to make you wait, when you return my feelings. You were my first kiss Si, and now you're my first love, you were the first person that made me feel safe, and the first to teach me what love really was, so I want you to be my first boyfriend, and I want you to be my last everything too." Simon grinned brightly at Jace, Jace grinning back, his facade crumbled and forgotten as their eyes fall shut, and Simon presses his lips to Jace's, for their first, true kiss.


	8. Chapter 8

Simon's arms slid slowly around Jace's neck as they kissed, his lips smooth and warm where Jace's were more chapped and rough, Simon's breaths shuddered out of him in his happiness as the blonde's arms circled him, pulling him closer, their lips moving against each other, sinking deeper and deeper into their little heaven.  
They parted for breath only once, their eyes locking, smiling at each other as they pressed forward once more, Simon only remembered the whisper of fabric as he eventually found himself laying over Jace, their lips parting but this time not from each other, only in welcome to the deeper feelings they'd both kept hidden for so long. They moulded together in harmony, a slight groan fluttering past Jace's mouth as Simon gave his hair a tug and pulled back to grin at him. "I knew you were a kinky man." Jace chuckled and yanked Simon back down to duck his head and mouth along his neck, nipping where his shoulder and neck met, smirking against the skin as Simon shivered.  
"I knew you had a biting fetish." He husked in Simon's ear with a grin before Simon hid his face in Jace's neck and snorted.  
"Ass." He muttered, earning a pat to his butt as Jace laughed.  
"Now now, there's no hurry." They both found themselves chuckling softly, looking at each other with bright grins they knew they would both find ridiculous in any other context.  
"If only I could say we had all eternity." Simon mused giving a pout to which Jace rolled his eyes.  
"At least we're on the same life-span now, I'd rather a shared lifetime with you, than a lifetime before your eternity continued." Simon nodded, pecking Jace's lips again before they wrapped up in each other, laying on the roof, their eyes half lidded with relaxation. Simon's delicate fingers traced the runes on Jace's chest through his shirt, and Jace's hands wandered up and down Simon's back and threading through his hair as they drifted into a light slumber together.

When they woke an hour later and decided to return to the inside, they wandered into the kitchen to find everyone sat around the table. Magnus was the first to look up, smirking at them and setting down his mug.  
"Ah, our blind Romeo and Juliet have returned." He called with a cheeky flicker in his eyes. The others looked over and Alec stood to smile slightly at them and walk over, pulling them both into a hug.  
"You guys finally sorted this out completely?" He asked getting a nod from Simon and a snort from Jace who pulled back to glare around at them.  
"You all knew this was going to happen?" Isabelle and Magnus laughed and Alec nodded with a wink.  
"It was kind of obvious to see you two were made for each other, especially considering, after everything you put each other through, you still came back together." Simon flushed, moving to sit down only to be pulled away from the seat he was aiming for, landing in Jace's lap as the blonde sat down and ruffled Simon's hair.  
"It was Simon's doing, he didn't have to be so patient with me." Jace let out a moment of vulnerability and smiled a lop sided smile, kissing Simon's cheek. The brunette snorted.  
"I think it was finally when I got impatient that you paid attention, really I should have gotten fed up sooner." He pouted and they all laughed softly Jace smirking.  
"Nah, you know I like it when they play hard to get." He wiggled his brows and Simon rolled his eyes.  
"Which would have been great if you had been trying to get me in the first place." Jace chuckled and nodded, resting his chin on Simon's shoulder as Simon took a mug from Magnus with a smile, sipping on the hot chocolate inside. 

"I'm glad I didn't completely screw things up for you two." Clary spoke softly from the end of the table. Jace looked over and his mask came up in full once more, but he shrugged.  
"If anything you proved that nothing will get between us, no harm done, but if you try and take us apart again I will not have mercy." He smirked evilly and Clary nodded in understanding.  
"Of course, I really am sorry for all the trouble I've caused, I just hope I can become friends with you all again, I have no family now, so I imagine I'll be staying here a while." Alec nodded and gave a stern look.  
"You're welcome as long as you please, but it will take a while to earn our trust, you still hadn't completely earned it before, but now it'll take longer, you need to understand that." She nodded and smiled at them all.  
"Of course! I'll do anything to earn it again, I really like all of you, don't worry, Jace isn't really my type anyways." She joked and made them laugh. Jace huffed and puffed out his chest.  
"Don't be silly, I'm everyone's type!" Simon snorted and snickered.  
"Oh please." He laughed making Jace pout and bite him.  
"Hey! Don't laugh, you're the one that proved I'm your type." Simon smiled and kissed Jace's knuckles that were curled around his own.  
"You may be my type, and the type of many straight teenage girls, and at one point Alec's type too, but I can think of many people who would rather punch you than kiss you, and the fact that Clary is gay probably doesn't help there." Clary made to speak in surprise but Jace gave a burst of outrage, looking hurt.  
"Hey now! I would be a very sexy lesbian." Isabelle and Simon laughed.  
"Perhaps, but you're not a woman in case you forgot Jace." Isabelle mused finishing her drink and taking the mugs away to clean up. Magnus smirked.  
"I could make you look like a sexy lesbian, but I think Simon has a better face for it." Simon blinked in surprise looking over.  
"What? Me?" He squeaked. Jace chuckled behind him and looked up at him.  
"I can see that, you do have softer features than me."   
"Wait! How did this become about me!" He shrieked and the men snickered softly. 

Alec eventually stood after a surplus of teasing aimed Simon's way. He muttered about doing some paperwork and beckoned Clary to assist him, the red head scurrying after him, clearly desperate to earn some trust back among the shadow-hunters. Magnus stood and spoke of a shopping trip that Isabelle immediately invited herself along to, the fashonistas walking out once again leaving Simon and Jace alone. Simon hummed.  
"I wonder when this group of ours stopped being such a group of misfits, I mean, apart from Magnus we're all shadow-hunters now." Jace nodded and smiled standing and scooping Simon off, striding towards his bedroom with him.  
"I don't know, do you miss being a vampire because of it?" Simon shook his head.  
"No, that's not it, I'm glad I'm not going to be forever lonely and get lots of cats." Jace laughed and dropped Simon onto his bed, moving to lock his door.

"Movie marathon?" He asked looking over with a cocked brow. Simon grinned and nodded dashing over to the drawers to get out their movie clothes they seemed to deem that just from their comfort and their place only being worn in each other's company. He found the key to the cupboard and slipped inside to pull out many sweets and snacks they had hidden there for years, preserved with a rune on the door that Jace had put their long ago. 

As they set up for a typical night in of mundane teaching and junk food and movies Simon felt a smile grace his lips, watching Jace get comfortable. The blonde glanced over and cocked a brow.  
"What is it?" He asked softly, Simon crawling over to hug him and press into his side.  
"I missed this, is all, I missed you."   
"I missed you too Simon, but I promise, from now on, nothing else will get in the way, you're my top priority." Simon felt a tint take to his cheeks and he popped a stick of pocky in his mouth, grinning up at Jace who only rolled his eyes and took the other end. When their lips met and the sweet taste of chocolate tingled on Simon's taste buds, he could help but think that maybe what they went through, wasn't so bad, because now he could share these snacks with Jace, now he could eat more than one starburst without needing to spit it back out, now he could live a full lifetime with Jace and move to the next life with Jace.  
Now, he was Jace's equal.


End file.
